Are We Becoming Infertile or Are We Just Dying Too Fast to Date?
By Joe Mama | May 4th, 3067
Growing Concerns Over a Shrinking Population
Dorms are experiencing a high turnover rate across all districts. I interviewed supervisors from all four districts:
Engineering: "The work we do is somewhat dangerous. If we are lucky, we only experience one casualty every week. On average, it's 5 to 10 workers a week. If catastrophic, over 20."
Agriculture and Environmental Sciences: "We do get accidents here and there. It's mostly the spider farm. It can get pretty nasty, like 1 to 3 deaths every two weeks?
Biologial Sciences: "Many tests do result in our scientists falling ill. It's probably the chemicals or the pathogens we work with. When there's an outbreak, it can wipe the current generation."
Letters and Sciences: "We have a few rebels in the district that inflate our death rate to numbers we shouldn't have. Thankfully, harsh warnings kept these numbers relatively low from last year."
Why Can't We Produce More Workers?
While Cryosleep Awakening rates have been steadily increasing, they only produce about 50-100 workers every year. Current workers are perishing nearly five times the rate.
Starting a Family: Is it Plausible?
Our workers are not celibate. They do not care much about sacred values. This was evident in the previous article, "Are Willy/Humphrey Fanfictions Making Residents Less Productive?", where Agriculture and Environmental scientists showed interest in a potential romantic pairing. However, their interest is only in fiction. In reality, workers prioritize survival over anything else. They barely consider long-term plans involving creating family.
"I can barely live for myself," an anonymous Agriculture worker sighed. "I've already signed an agreement to hand over my dorm. I don't think I'm surviving the upcoming spider harvest."
The thought of having a child repulsed some of our workers.
"Can the child weld? I think they might die in the process."
"That's another mouth to feed. I'm too selfish, sorry."
The future of UCDundercity seems rather grim.
What Should Be Changed?
- Better living conditions -- Rather impossible. The elites claim that our conditions suffice. Their words are naturally right.
- Cloning Technology. -- A potential solution. The technology is not yet there, but it seems promising.
- 90% of high quality products to the elites -- A truly ingenious idea that definitely solves the issues.